Trying to Get Rid of Anxiety? Think Again — Ellie Miller, LCSW-C // Mindful Therapy

Wanting to Get Rid of Anxiety Right Away Makes Sense.

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a heated game of tug-of-war with your anxiety? You pull with all your might, trying to drag it into the pit of 'Things I Never Want to Feel Again.' I get it.

But here's a little nugget of wisdom that might just be a game-changer: this very struggle could be giving anxiety more muscle.

The Unwelcome Party Guest

Imagine anxiety as that annoying, uninvited guest at your party. The more you ignore them or try to shove them out the door, the louder and more obnoxious they become. They just love the drama. It's counterintuitive, but sometimes, the best way to deal with that guest is to acknowledge them, maybe even offer them a seat. It's not about wanting them there; it's about reducing the fuss they create.

The Pitfalls of Trying to Get Rid of Anxiety

Let’s talk about experiential avoidance for a sec.

Experiential avoidance is when we go out of our way to avoid or escape uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, like anxiety.

We might cancel plans, avoid certain places, or distract ourselves constantly to keep anxious thoughts at bay. It feels like we're protecting ourselves, right?

But here's the thing: this avoidance can create a cycle that actually makes our anxiety stronger.

Every time we sidestep these uncomfortable feelings, we're sending ourselves the message that anxiety is something we can't handle, that it's a threat.

And ironically, this can make the anxiety grow. It’s as if we’re telling our brain that anxiety is the enemy, which only heightens our fear and avoidance.

In trying to dodge anxiety at every turn, we might be reinforcing it, giving it more control over our lives. The goal, then, isn't to eradicate anxiety completely—it's to learn how to experience it without letting it dictate our actions.

This doesn't mean we enjoy it or want it, but we acknowledge it and move forward despite it, taking away its power over us.

The 'Don't Think About Pink Elephants' Phenomenon

Think about it.

The more you tell yourself, "I can't feel anxious," the more you're thinking about... yep, anxiety.

It's like the brain's version of "Don't think about pink elephants." Spoiler: you're thinking about pink elephants now, aren't you?

Acceptance: The Release Valve

When we stop the struggle bus and just let ourselves feel whatever we're feeling, we take away anxiety's power. It's no longer the big, scary monster under the bed; it's just part of the furniture. Annoying? Sure. The end of the world? Not so much.

Now, I'm not saying we should all throw a welcome party for our anxiety. That would be like hugging that party crasher who's already eaten all the snacks. But maybe, just maybe, we can sit with the discomfort without letting it dictate the night's playlist.

Mindfulness meditation is an effective way to start practicing acceptance and openness in the face of anxiety. Check out this guide on how to start a mindfulness meditation practice.

→ What to do when you can’t immediately reduce anxiety

Your Weekly Challenge

Here's the deal: next time anxiety knocks on your door, take a deep breath. Offer it a nod of acknowledgment, and carry on with your party. Dance like nobody's watching, sing like you're in the shower, and all those cliches 😌. Because at the end of the day, isn't the party about enjoying yourself, even with a gatecrasher or two?

So, let's all take a moment to be okay with not always being okay. After all, isn't life a little more interesting with a few plot twists?