A Baltimore Therapist's Guide to Using Humor to Deal with Anxious Thoughts

Beep boo bop boo bee boo boo. That’s my cure for you today! Jk, well, kinda.

So, I went to a cool therapist gathering the other day. It was so nice! Awesome people, fun activity (Italian cookie decorating!) and overall just a nice afternoon.

But, alas, that night social anxiety kept pestering me.

As I was falling asleep, and throughout the night, annoying critical thoughts kept popping up: “oh my god, you said THAT?!” or “wow I can’t believe you interrupted that one conversation. They must’ve been so annoyed with you!”

Has your mind talked to you like that too? So rude.

BUT a cool thing happened in my middle of the night foggy sleep brain. I used a thought unhooking tool that I’ve been practicing for the last few years.

And because I’ve been practicing so much, my mind naturally turned to it even in my half awake state! And it actually helped a ton!

Let me explain how easy this tool is and how it might help you let go of some of your unhelpful, critical thoughts.

Laying the Foundation To Make Sure The Tool Really Helps

Thoughts are just words.

This is an idea you’ll hear me coming back to over and over again:

The more we try to resist anxious thoughts and struggle against them, the stronger they become. It’s like quicksand, the more you struggle the more you sink.

Although thought suppression is a popular form of mental control, research has indicated that it can be counterproductive, helping assure the very state of mind one had hoped to avoid. (Wenzlaff & Wegner, 2000)

But don’t just blindly trust the research. You can try out this idea on the spot easily, because it’s kinda one of those things you just have to feel out for yourself.

Pause and try this experiment, real quick

(Trust me, it’s worth it. This is usually a big aha moment for my clients)

1.) Pick a slightly anxiety producing thought, nothing major, and for the next 30 seconds, with all your might, try to stop the thought. Say no to it, get rid of it…

Alright, what did you notice with that? The anxious thought itself already sucks, then there’s an added layer of struggle and resistance that doesn’t feel good either, right?

2.) Now let’s try the other route, letting the thought come and go, practicing an attitude of ease and spaciousness: bring to mind the same thought, and for 30 seconds or so, just let it be there. No big deal, just a thought. Just a string of sounds, letters, words.

Which one felt better? Dropping the struggle, right??

So this is the groundwork to understanding why this robot tool I’m gonna share helps!

The Silly Robot Voice Tool.

Ok, so here’s where the robot voice comes in. Now we’re on the same page about how fighting thoughts doesn’t make things better, the robot voice can help with the second way of dealing with thoughts: treating them as merely thoughts, words strung together. Things we don’t have to struggle with.

When we bring this attitude of lightheartedness and sillyness to the thought, it can help us get les caught up in it, take it less seriously, and even get a lil laugh out of it.

Win. Win. Win.

How it Works:

1.) Pick a silly voice or character you want to impersonate

Robot voice
Cowgirl twang
Paul Hollywood
Fran Drescher

You get the gist.

2.) Pick the strongest thought that keeps popping up, or name the storyline if it’s a group of thoughts

for me in the example I used in the intro, it was a set of thoughts all criticizing my social “performance”. So I called this set of thoughts “the social monitor”
if it’s just one thought that your mind is mostly harping on, pick that thought.

3.) Say The Thought or Name of Thoughts In The Silly Voice

Give it a go! You can either do this out loud, or, if you’re in public and don’t wanna make a scene, you can always mentally go through the exercise in your head :)

4.) Repeat as Needed, Then Come Back To The Present

Run through the exercise when you notice yourself getting too caught up in the anxious thought, and when you’re done with the exercise, gently come back to whatever you’re doing.
For me, it was just relaxing back into my body so I could fall back asleep. For you, it might be coming back to whatever conversation you were having, watching survivor, or eating cereal.

steps for how to deal with anxious thoughts instead of trying to stop anxious thoughts. choose a silly voice, pick an anxious though, say the though in the silly voice. By ellie miller, lcsw-c online therapist in maryland

When To use…And When NOT to use.

When Not to Use:

One thing I wanna note here is that sometimes this might not be the best tool to use. That’s why we have to keep a bunch of different tools in the toolbox. If you’re struggling with a thought that’s traumatic, or intensely upsetting or painful, this wouldn’t be the best tool for that.
I definitely don’t want you to belittle how you’re feeling, this would be counterproductive. So if it feels like too intense of a thought to work with, don’t use this silliness tool. And be mindful that the sillyness is kindhearted, not judgmental or demeaning.

When to Use:

When the thought isn’t too triggering or traumatic
When you feel like you can use your sense of humor in a kind, nonjudgmental way.
When you’re feeling a little silly.

Variations

This tool is super versatile, really you can do anything that makes you smile or laugh a bit. You can pick a silly voice you might make with a preschooler, think robot, alien, Santa Claus.

Or you could go the character route. Run through some of your favorite books or shows and pick the character with the most distinctive voice. I’m currently watching a lot of Superstore, so I’ll sometimes use a Glen Sturgis impersonation.

(Important Side Note/PSA: I feel like not enough people have watched Superstore btw. If you like The Office or Parks and Rec, do yourself a favor and check it out! This post is not an affiliate for NBC, not even sure if that’s a thing.)

Another route you could go, would be to pick your favorite song and sing the thought to that tune. Give it a try with Happy Birthday, Call Me Maybe, or Wannabe.

you never knew how fun anxiety could be!

Bring on The lightheartedness.

Sometimes humor can be a tool to avoid our feelings, true, but let’s harness the superpower of humor to help us drop some of those unhelpful anxious, self critical thoughts, that hold us back from being present with our lives (and getting a good night’s sleep 😒)

Your next step is to pick one of the variations from above (silly voice, character voice, or a song) and next time an anxious thought creeps it’s way into your head, and starts pulling you around, give this tool a go and see if it helps you drop the struggle.

And if you get an extra smile out of the sillyness, then that’s cool too.